Really ?

Ladies,

Have you ever found yourself lamenting with your friends about how all the guys you date are jerks? Does it feel like all the nice guys are taken? Or that maybe nice guys don’t even exist? Well, I’ve got bad news for you. I am already taken. But the good news is I saved a ton of money by switching to GEICO.

Seriously, though, I know that men between the ages of puberty and dead can be real jerks. As a man, I am forced to be around other men, and I know what they think about and how they treat women. The only thing worse than how they treat women is how women let themselves be treated.

It all makes me so irritated and irate that I have decided to change the world. I want men to grow up so I don’t have to hear their stupid dirty jokes in the men’s restroom anymore. I want women to get the respect and love they deserve. Girls, I want you to take control of your relationships and tell men that you are not a piece of meat for them to ogle and fondle so they better respect you as a person or hit the road because you’re looking for a nice guy that will love you for who you are not what you can give him and you won’t be giving anyone anything tonight or the next night or the night after that so if that’s what they’re looking for then scram (make sure you take a breath in there so you don’t pass out).

I know this will upset the balance of power as we know it in the 21st Century, but I am ready to start a revolution!

Ready to join the revolution?

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